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Don’t be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.

All things break. And all things can be mended.

Not with time, as they say, but with intention.

So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.

The broken world waits in the darkness for the light that is in you. 

L.R. Knost

What do you think of that quote? It spoke to me. I don’t think all things can be mended, at least not those shattered beyond recognition in so many pieces and shards that it is time to be discarded. For me, I experienced a relationship that was broken that way. Sometimes, regardless of your intention, trying to “fix” it only destroys the light in you or at least dims it so that you can’t recognize yourself anymore. Sometimes, it will have to be left to the universe for either the other person’s intentions or someone else’s to take over and time for you to let go and release the broken thing.

At that moment of release, you begin to heal and the light in you begins to grow again. And with love, you light your own path. Those around you will see and feel the warmth of that light. So much so that your light will shed an illumination on their path too.

Love yourself intentionally, extravagantly, and unconditionally. When I was younger I was always taught the scripture to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself. They always stopped at “Love your neighbor” and never focused on the crux of the matter; “love yourself.” How can you love another with so much disdain and disapproval of yourself? Well, you can’t really. Learn to love yourself, take care of your own light, and then love that same way to the world. Just my two cents.

 

 

 

The Doors of San Miguel opened to any part of me that I was willing to walk through. I still look at the photos from that day, that walk, and am surprised at what still lies beyond those beautiful doors.

This past February, I attended the San Miguel de Allende Writers and Literary Conference. Okay, that was amazing. While I was there, I took a solitary walk through some of the streets near the hotel. More and more I began to notice the doors and take a few pictures of them with my trusty phone. Initially, I was enjoying exploring and having time with my thoughts. Then, my experience became more and more focused. Each door seemed to have its own story to tell me and every little detail and vivid color drew me in those stories until I realized it was my story they were each telling.

So many doors opened for me in San Miguel. I learned so much from the other authors, and met new friends. The craft of writing and not just the creation of a story alone became sharper. I also know there is still so much more to learn. Every now and then I look back on the pictures of those beautiful doors and find something new.

Is there a door somewhere that you can never forget? Maybe you didn’t even realize at the time that it was more than the physical appearance of the door, but what it was saying to you that is the reason the memory is still so clear.

Special thank you to Deborah and Matt!

In my dreams, it will creep,

A confused remembrance of innocence ripped away,

The demons don’t rest, as the child appears to sleep,

And they hide inside the victim and control the day.

CHAPTER ONE THE BROKEN HEART

The pink quartz, speckled with feldspar and mica, was polished to a smooth shine.  Teya held the necklace in her hand.  Each time she went through the same ritual, carefully unfolding the softly tanned, deer hide cloth, then slowly uncurling the long silver chain and then circling it back again in the palm of her hand.  The stone was the shape of a heart and its crafter had delicately ornamented its silver cradle.  She stared at the stone and thought, Where does all this sadness come from? Every time I’ve held you it creeps in. This sadness. Nature had given the heart shape a vein crystal from the top of one side of the heart, trailing down to the bottom of the heart as though the heart had been broken. As she gently stroked the surface of the stone she could feel the pink rock’s influence on her spirit. It seemed to guide her through a spiritual journey and even though it carried the sadness of a broken heart it still brought hope as she struggled to face the challenges in her life.  It was a secret shared only between the two of them, Teya and her twin. Teya and Jamie had discovered the necklace in their grandfather’s trunk when they were little girls.  But, the trunk had been forbidden to them, making it all the more mysterious.  When no one was around, they spent many childhood hours curiously searching through the trunk for the hidden treasures it held. Of all the things in the trunk, the necklace was their favorite. Grandfather was dying now and the two young girls were now grown. Only Teya has stayed behind. I can’t let this secret die with him, I need to know, she thought as she sat beside him, holding his leathery, dark, tanned hands. So many of the stories of our people had died with the ancestors. I can’t let this secret die.  Suddenly she felt her cell phone buzz, her sister’s text…

Inspiration can come from just about anywhere. Today it came from an egg carton. Yes, that’s right. While making breakfast, I noticed there was a scripture on the egg carton. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalms 118:24. If that wasn’t enough surprise, I was taken back by the last four words. They just jumped out at me.  I never really focused on that part – “be glad in it.”

This tiny gem guided me, no, screamed at me really, to be more mindful. We were given each day to use it and hold it dear and “be glad in it.” Sometimes we just go through the day as though it has controlled or sucked us in to our routines, demands, or the other things we have let out “shoulds” direct us. But what would our day look like, if we honored the day and set our intentions to be glad in it? I don’t mean just be glad, but to make a decision to BE and not just DO. When we are truly honest and genuine with ourselves, who were we meant to “BE?”

I don’t mean to sound preachery here – hmmm…I think that’s a word.  I am setting my intention today to be myself, to be fully present in this day and to be glad that I am here.  That means your gonna’ have to love yourself too! There are a lot of messages for each of us stored up in these tiny, four words.

Be Glad In It

Oh, and Happy 101st Birthday Kirk Douglas! Wow, a hundred and one years, 36,865 Days to be glad in it.

 

So my Christmas presents aren’t even wrapped yet, and I am already thinking about 2018! It isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds.  December is the perfect time, as you close out a year, spend time with your family and watch 2017 dwindle away.

Oh, yeah.  I forgot what a procrastinator I used to be.  There’s that.  Maybe, some of you just do better waiting until New Year’s Eve for that epiphany. This year, I plan on being deliberate. Actually studying words and shaping my intentions to choose a word that will be my center, my guide, through 2018.

I already know what I didn’t get done last year and every time I make a New Year’s Resolution to get it done the next year, it just doesn’t stick.  Herein lies the problem! That awful verb Do instead of Be! There is so much more to us than what we have done.  There is so much more to measuring our value that with dollars. You see where this is going already, don’t you?

Stay away from verbs and adverbs this year and find a noun or an adjective that describes your being. Which part of you do you want to give more attention to and grow?

I am still working on it, but for now I am debating between these words to choose as my center for 2018: Free/Freedom, Courage/Courageous, Art, Artfulness.  Until then, I will be thinking of you, and wishing you a successful journey, finding your word.

 

Books that never are read, words not written or said,
A life put on the shelf
Fall into the vacuum of the day to day
Turn away from the dreams.
“Oh it’s okay” she says and turns away.

I wonder, what would you be, who would I be, with no one to please? This also begs the question whether or not an integral part of us wants to please, and why? Stripped of judgement and all conditions, who do I really want to “be”?  This is an important time to interject the reason I chose the word “be” and not “do”.  I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend.  Walking through her own “second act” life transition, she spoke frequently about things she wanted to do in the upcoming year.  I asked, “but who do you want to be”?

Successful people moving into retirement find themselves searching for things to do.  Doing is what made them so successful.  We did, and did and did until things worked.  Challenges around us? Well, we got busy and did stuff! In the practice of mindfulness, I will set my intentions to create a vision for myself of who I am on a journey to become.  Constantly seeking the differences in doing and being. For example, does your “to do” list include writing a book or “becoming an author” or becoming a “life coach” or “self help expert” or “novelist”?

Now for the really important question…

Who will you become in the upcoming year on your journey without judgement? If there wasn’t anyone watching, if there wasn’t anyone to use those awful words like “should” and “need” to tell us what to DO!

I would encourage you today to meditate on who you are and focus on stretching yourself toward that person, not chasing him or her.